What is a Father?

This is a question I have always asked myself when I was growing up, because my relationship with my father was a physically and mentally abusive relationship. I know that I am not alone in the abuse and emotional neglect of my father, and it is so sad that so many women and men grow up with out a good father figure around. Men that grow up with out a father often live recklessly in their lives in order to learn how to be a man. Women often try to find male attention and love through someone who often at times abuses them in some way and takes them for granted.

Here is what a real father is:

Well many people think because they had sex and created a child they are a dad. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. That short span of personal pleasure does not , then the title “unfortunately" doesn’t apply to you.


A real dad is someone who truly loves you. Now that word love encompasses unconditional love. That means they are always there to help. They hurt when you hurt. That they are human but will admit their mistakes when wrong. That while they will always be protective, they will let you grow while making sure you do not stray to far off course. They do not judge but try to help yet, they will try to provide what is important to you while teaching you responsibility and values. Sometimes we prefer those who give, give, give and we miss the point of why sometimes you must work for something you want not just be handed it. Then again we like people who allow us to do what we want but yet we really do want someone to care what we do. While we may frown when they say no if we truly love them and we have good communications then we can understand why.
A dad is someone we can confide in when we are down and out. Who is always ready with a kiss and a big hug. They will not condemn, yell, curse or hit you when you do something wrong but they will allow you to understand what you did and try to help you through it.
Dads are men who put their entire life into YOU. They do not say what’s mine is mine and you have to get yours, they say we are family, I love you and how can I help you through your problem. Dads are there when you need help and when there is no one else to go to. They are also there to let you know life is not a hand out and it can be tough. So, if your refused a handout for something frivolous then think about why and what else may be important.



by: Robert Melaccio, Sr